I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Randomize
