I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
