Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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