You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Randomize
