oh god the rape fog is back!
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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