Banned from zoo.
Again?
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Randomize
