Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
