i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
