I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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