I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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