i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
