we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Randomize
