Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
me + whiskey = a bad person
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Randomize
