Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize