Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
