You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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