Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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