I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
