all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere