you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.