oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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