I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.