the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Don't EVER smell your tampon
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
