I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
