the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
