Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
