I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
