is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
