90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
