The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
