I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
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