you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize