So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I checked into jail on foursquare
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
