Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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