I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
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