Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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