i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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