i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
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