I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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