he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
