So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
This toilet bowl is my home.
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