hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
