I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
