Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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