So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
