OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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