Texts From Last Night

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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried

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  (570): I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried http://tfl.nu/vdpu
  Replies (20) Good night (651) Bad night (3776)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  You can't special order awesome

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  (404): You can't special order awesome http://tfl.nu/116h
  Replies (14) Good night (2927) Bad night (652)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker

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  (509): I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker http://tfl.nu/fgze
  Replies (39) Good night (584) Bad night (2836)
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  (940): View more from Texas

  Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.

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  (940): Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost. http://tfl.nu/jz6g
  Replies (25) Good night (619) Bad night (3101)
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  (818): View more from California

  it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.

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  (818): it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny. http://tfl.nu/aua9
  Replies (13) Good night (5227) Bad night (1170)
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  (320): View more from Minnesota

  A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.

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  (320): A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears. http://tfl.nu/pw7m
  Replies (41) Good night (2362) Bad night (5177)
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  (315): View more from New York

  Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.

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  (315): Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise. http://tfl.nu/jq04
  Replies (8) Good night (4451) Bad night (1441)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.

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  (902): I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother. http://tfl.nu/s7ce
  Replies (7) Good night (4306) Bad night (984)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.

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  (314): Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good. http://tfl.nu/kvkg
  Replies (12) Good night (3249) Bad night (988)
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  (574): View more from Indiana

  First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.

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  (574): First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated. http://tfl.nu/ljxt
  Replies (6) Good night (1680) Bad night (628)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.

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  (859): We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information. http://tfl.nu/bnu1
  Replies (1) Good night (1095) Bad night (795)
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  (310): View more from California

  Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.

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  (310): Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack. http://tfl.nu/hyp4
  Replies (7) Good night (623) Bad night (1370)
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together

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  (231): Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together http://tfl.nu/n1xx
  Replies (2) Good night (1781) Bad night (396)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  this st patricks day sucks

  (815): View more from Illinois

  ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles

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  (630): this st patricks day sucks (815): ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles http://tfl.nu/aosd
  Replies (1) Good night (536) Bad night (326)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?

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  (970): He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner? http://tfl.nu/fpx9
  Replies (3) Good night (801) Bad night (345)

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