Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I faked an abortion last night.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...