Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know