He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.