Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
