awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
