I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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