i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
