Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
