Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
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