you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Randomize
