I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
How external is "for external use only"?
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
