You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I just gargled with NyQuil
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