He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
