so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
His nipple licking is glorious
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