Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
No subtext here. People are naked.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize