so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
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They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
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I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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