a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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