it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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