hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
After last night, I could never be a politician.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
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