We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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