hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Randomize
