Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
