I love black thongs
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Randomize
