So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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