last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize