She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
