Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
